Our first full length feature film.

Dear members, I would like to thank all members what turned up for our film premiere “Blackpool Reunion 2011 – A fistfull of tossers” and the awards ceremony after, last Sunday. Congratulations go to Paul “Hungry” Humphries for winning the oscar for most ludicrous dive in the Sunday morning football match, Karl King for best director, - though he was the only director so I don´t know how that works, Blue-Nose Trev for best fancy dress, and Yvonne for the bit where she flashed her bloomers on the pier. Also I suppose I must say thank you for my academy award an all for best actor, though I would like to stress that when I was writhing about in agony wearing me neck brace I was in fact really suffering with whiplash after the incident on the dodgems, - I was NOT acting! Just as long as we´re clear on this. - Above, director Karl King receives his award.

Annual Renion A Huge Success.

I would like to thank all our members what turned up to our annual reunion in Blackpool, it were bloody great to see all three nights packed to the rafters and a big thanks goes to the Catholic Club and the Savoy Hotel for putting us up.
The highlight for me personally would be my team's stirring fightback in the keenly fought and sometimes ill tempered beach football match in which, after conceding a rather dubious opening goal from a shot that was so high our goalkeeper couldn't even reach it with his walking stick, we stormed back to first equalise and then gloriously triumph in a nail biting penalty shootout. The whole match was marred however when I was wrongly sent off after an altercation resulting in what the opposition laughingly called a "dive" when I was ruthlessly hacked down in the penalty area in the closing minutes of the first half - I was later reinstated after an appeal. To view footage of this and another one what our film maker Karl King knocked up click -
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uGBrrJIj3xY
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sk_nXPooCU0

End Of An Era.

AS usual, aT thE enD of thE seasn=)(, i´M goiN tO tipE this myself without thE help oF my wipe elsIE.


iT waS with grea&t badness thaT wE bouGht on stale foR thE last tymE mr. alaN bod aS elviS%. alaN haS bean with uS four 5 yearS, an Di caN honesTLty saY with nO fear of contracEption that hE haS bEEn a boY tO woRk wIth.

I welL remeMber thE fusT time ye performed hiS elvIS show i seD tO ouR concert seCRetary wilF thAt i thort that wE haD discoVereD a jaM “•””@

A reaL fro anD a nicE maM aS weLL , mY wYfe meT hiM anD shE said he Was micE aS weLL** - hE myte bE nicE buT he´S noboDYs tOOl. hE used tO like a drink bef ore a ShoW buT this menT hE goT shIT – facED

with this problEM wEE deciDED tO stoP hIm drinking AnD hE didnT lykE it buTT agrEED thAT iT waS foUR thE breAST. aS a splaTTer oF faCT he´S nevEr soundED sO gOOdy ^^```*

I wOOd jusT likE tOO takE theSE oPPortOOnitY tO tanK hiM oN behaLF thE cuB anD aLL thE chiMps oN thE cOMMiTTee ha PENIS foR thE fooTure.

regaRDS -THe conceRT chair mAN ¿?$$

Elsie´s feet playin her up again.

Bit o bother at home today, Elsie bit her own foot. She fell asleep in the awning with her mouth open and her teeth fell into her slipper, and when she put her foot into it they clamped shut on her big toe, so she´s had to have a tetanus injection.- Anyway, -I´ve had to make me own tea.

I am now pleased to announce that my first ever DVD is now on sale, called “The Concert Chairman Presents” it once and for all puts an end to the rumours that me and my nephew Kevin Holt are one of the same person, as we appear on stage together at the same time. To see the preview of it click on this bugger -

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CjksjZqDI_k

Royal Wedding Report

I would like to take this opportunity to thank all those what attended our Royal Wedding Extravaganza. We thought it would be a good idea for us to re inact the actual wedding with our club members. Wills and Kate was played by Dot and Norman (pictured), the queen was played by our Elsie and I played Prince Phillip – which came in quite handy cos I could tell everybody to go bollocks. Elton John was played by some drunk with glasses on but unfortunately we couldn´t conjure up a Pippa Middleton. – Well that´s not surprising is it? I watched the wedding highlights after “Match of the Day” and everybody was banging on about Pippa´s dress, not in my front room though, I just thought she had a lovely arse.


Regards, The Concert Chairman.

New Venture.

I´m sorry that I´ve not been on here for a while, but I´ve been busy filming. I was approached by a Chubby Brocolli type character who insisted it would be a good idea if I went round the local beauty spots and gave my opinion in a programme called "I´m the concert chairman get me out of here." We put it on "You-Tube" cos the BBC haven´t as yet shown much interest. Well we´ve done a couple and to be honest I would rather have done some much needed work up the allotment rather than spend all day being traipsed up mile after mile of bloody steps in the searing heat and sweating me cods off, - call me old fashioned. I simply can´t see the attraction. If you want to see the latest episode click this -
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_nMBEDV_upg

A Thief In The Club!

It gives me no pleasure what so ever to inform all our members we have a thief amongst us!


Reg Pilling, a stalwart member of some standing had been enjoying a pork pie on games night in the snooker room. He had taken out his teeth on account of the fact a lump of gristle had lodged itself under his top plate and had become a nuisance. Whilst he was borrowing a knife from the kitchen some person or persons spirited away the dentures possibly into a handbag or used crisp packet and made off with them. Afterwards we interviewed Reg and he was very forthright on the matter “MMmm shhh, shhh fwah fwah shhhhhh bubub ubub” – he said. I find it difficult to argue with that.

                                          Reg putting on a brave face yesterday.